Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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