summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
