hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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