...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize