i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
