is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
