did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
