I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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