I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
