Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
