I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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