Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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