don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
