First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
