so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Dicks are not precious.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
