party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
