Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
