if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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