dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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