You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
