You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
