She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
