Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
