Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
