This is not my ceiling
i just had sex bonerless
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
