Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
