Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
