So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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