I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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