I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
