we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
