Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize