everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize