508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
