is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Randomize
