yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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