the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
