Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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