i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
did i just pee glitter
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
