does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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