This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize