He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
