It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
