what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize