He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
