I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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