This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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