So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
