i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
