do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I would fuck him just for his dog
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
