she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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