swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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