I will die if light touches me.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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