we're blogging at a bar
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize