ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
