Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
