i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
