he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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