btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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