so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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