I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
