Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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